Heyo. Tonight was the first of many Monday night gatherings for Highway's College Group! I think the 30 college students who showed up at the hosting apartment may have overwhelmed our hosts, but, God bless them, they fed us all! Our leader J sorta let us spend the night getting to know each other, but he did share a few words of wisdom near to the end of the night.
He passed out handouts with this picture of children climbing a tree on them:
["When I take a good, hard look at my spiritual life, I feel like [which child?]... because..." Explain your choice.]
and had us discuss with small groups 1. which child we saw ourselves to be 2. why and 3. how can we get to the place where we WANT to be on the tree.
It was a very eye-opening experience! Originally I thought I was the little girl climbing the ladder, being supported by two other kids, but as I thought about it more and more, I realized that right now I'm the little boy, siting back and relaxing (perhaps napping?) and watching everyone else struggle. I'm kind of at a stand-still in my spiritual life right now! But how can I change that? That's the real question here! And sadly, I do not yet have an answer! If you have some wise words to share, comment away, but I'm at a loss. Over and over again I go through "re-dedications", "Spirit-filled moments", and feel like I've NEVER felt so close to God, but after those few days or weeks, again I feel like I stop moving, like I'm stagnant water, with nothing pouring in and nothing pouring out. When/how will I be the little boy at the top of the tree, studiously looking upward and consistently climbing?!
On a different note, we talked about our summer goals before we go off to (or go back to) college. I think mine are these:
1. Become independent from my family and friends. Now when I say independent, I don't mean forget or forsake, but instead learn to not make them the center of my life and discover to live as an individual.
2. Become dependent on God. I need to focus on Him and not let Him leave my sight! Not even for a moment! I only need Him, not other Earthly things, and I need to make that a priority!
The one way I could think of managing these two goals was to blindly trust God. I choose the word blindly not to convey the image of stupidity or ill-advisement, but of complete and utter trust even when I do not understand (or even when I do not agree). I feel like I DO trust God, but usually I only need to trust that He is doing good in my life, has only love for me, and is guiding my footsteps. Rarely do I face HARD situations that require total trust in God to get through. I hope that this summer I am faced with such difficult tasks and decisions so that I GET to choose to trust God blindly.
Hopefully that made sense...
Other than "College Highway", I had breakfast with my twin R and did some window shopping in Downtown Los Altos, painted some more in my room, hung out with my bff K and attempted to record us singing a song (and totally failing), and drove K and my beautiful A to College Highway. <3 I love my girls.
I hope you'll take some time to consider which child in the tree you are and why (and think about where you WANT to be and how to get there!). :) Keep your eyes set on God!
Keep it classy B)
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