I'm Baaaaaccck!

June 24th-29th:

I just got back from a week house-boating on Shasta Lake with my youth group where I had no internet so I couldn't blog, but I did write a few thoughts down every day that I'd like to share with you now! :D

June 24th: "The Beauty of Lake Shasta"

Today when we got to Shasta Lake it was cloudy and began sprinkling as we got on the water. Despite this, the lake was such a beautiful sight to behold. The orange-red shores and sparkling reflective waters paired with the story skies was breath-taking.

Something about Lake Shasta that I love is the night sky. I feel like when I look at the stars at Shasta I'm looking directly into space, as if there is no atmosphere, no millions of miles in between me and the stars and planets. I really hate that in the Bay Area we have so much light pollution that our view of the heavens is obscured! Sometimes I wish I lived somewhere where I could see the stars every night...

June 25th: "Taking the Initiative"

You know that sorta disappointed feeling you get when one of your friends tells you that recently they went through a hard time and that they chose to confide in a different friend instead of you? Worse yet, that that other friend was "the only one who was there for/understood me/what I was going through!" Why didn't your friend choose to confide in and trust you? Why did they choose the other friend?!

Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't that your friend consciously chose to not tell you, but perhaps that the circumstances lined up so that the other friend was there at the right time in the right place. Now, it could have been a convenience thing, but there is another, very likely reason why they might have confided in the other friend. Maybe that other friend just took the initiative and asked your friend how he/she was and that's all that your friend needed to get them talking. They might have asked them to coffee, lunch, ect. So it's maybe not that your friend CHOSE the other person, but that YOU weren't involved at that time in their life/didn't reach out when your friend needed it. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you or that you aren't worthy of being confided in, but more that you have to take the initiative sometimes if you want to get really close to your friends.

June 26th: "Doing the Dishes"

Excuse the slightly off-topic title on this one. But tonight in our small group we talked about how we don't always have to stress out about setting aside those thirty minutes for our "God time", but that instead we can invite God into EVERYTHING we do in our day - be that having a conversation with a friend, going to a party, reading a book, or, yes, doing the dishes. It IS important to spend focused time with God, but I don't want to forget that He's with me ALL DAY, not just for that half hour. Amen.

June 27th: "An Introvert on a Houseboat?!"

This week here on Shasta Lake has been pretty tough for me in the sense that I'm pretty much CONSTANTLY surrounded by people. Being an introvert, I NEED alone time to recharge after expending all of my energy by being social. A houseboat is not an ideal place to be stuck when you need alone time, especially when (because you were sick the first two days and people care about/are worried about you) people ask you every time they see you alone if you are okay. Here I am on the back bunk, closing my eyes, hanging by myself in the quiet and suddenly my peace is shattered with a worried "Are you okay?" or "Is something wrong?". Oh my gosh. I love that people care, but can't they understand that I AM okay and that I just need to be alone? Just as they LOVE being with everyone playing games 24/7, I LOVE being alone, reading my Bible or napping or whatever. I snapped at a few people as a result of my irritation/impatience, and if I did so at you, I am sorry! I just got really frustrated that people thought that because I was alone something must be wrong. Nope, that's just how I work! :) I actually got very good at pretending I was asleep to just have an excuse to be alone. Heh heh.

June 28th: "Written Word"

As some of you may know, I much much much prefer writing out my thoughts than just saying them as they come to my brain. Many have experienced this through my notes, letters, and read-off notecards. Even texting my thoughts is SO much easier than trying to say them in a conversation. I feel like I can take my time and actually say exactly what I mean to when I have the time to write down my thoughts, whereas if I just jump into a conversation unprepared then I end up saying something I don't mean to, or say it in the wrong way, and that really bothers me.

Today we had a three-hour solo time as part of the houseboat program and I spent 2.5 hours writing a long letter. It was a letter that I had been putting off writing because I knew I would want to put a lot of time and thought and effort into my words, so the three-hour chunk was much appreciated. I know for a fact that if I tried to say to the subject of the letter those enclosed thoughts without writing them down, the conversation would have been a complete failure and I would have really regretted jumping into it. So, I'm glad that God gave me the opportunity and peace to write down my thoughts today :)

June 29: "Home Sweet Home"

Today I got home from houseboats and am SO happy to be in my own house. No more unsatisfactory lake showers, no more smelly Mikey (toilet), no more uncomfortable sleeping pads. I can finally have enough alone time to recharge and think back on the week without being overwhelmed. Yay. However, I am at the end of my rope right now and will have to summarize my houseboating experience tomorrow or something. For now... Goodnight my friends... Keep it classy.